Moreover, I strongly agree that Chinese parents are not or never concern about their children’s self-esteem. Not only my mum, but also my dad are never concern about my self-esteem. I have observed this for a long time. They always call me fatty even they are in a crowded place. They are still calling me that although I’m already an adult. I have told them to stop calling me fatty because it will hurt me, but they said “If you are so easily get hurt by such word, you better die.” Once, my mum told me that I’m getting fat, if I’m not going to loose weight, I will stuck at the door and cannot pass through the gate. However, I’m already used to it, and I felt nothing for that. So, as an advice for the Chinese parents who want their children to lose weight, please do not think that insulting them with those words is a kind of motivation.
Unfortunately, it is not. Well, I have got hurt once by my dad. I’m not very sure what was actually happening, I just remembered that he said “Why you are so stupid?” This had brought a serious impact on me, till now, I’m still thinking that how can parents insulting their children like that way. Anyway, it doesn’t damage my self-esteem, in the opposite, it built my self-esteem. This is beacuse I know that I’m not stupid, I’m just not clever enough. Therefore, I have learned a lesson from that which is “Think twice before you act and say something” because whatever you said or act will definitely bring effects to yourself and the people around you.
In addition, in my opinion, not only Chinese parents but also Western parents think that their children owe them everything. This actually is not a fault. They have the power to have this mindset. In fact, as a children, we actually owe them a lot. This is because they raise us, give us food, education, protection and money. These things cannot be repaid by words such as “Thank you,” money or any others else. Most of them actually never think of the repayment from their children. They just want them to have a good life and bright future. Therefore, they may override their children’s preferences. They also shape and nurture their children into the perfect one. They do these to help them built their self-esteem, let them know what actually is good and bad for them. Just for an example, when I’m planning for my future career, my mum called me to be a teacher which I really don’t like. When I said I want to be a psychologist, she keep saying that psychologist is not good, very hard to get a job and I may get “psycho” also. She is still saying the same thing until now although I have explained to her what actually pshchology is. Anyway, luckily, she didn’t force me to follow what she want, she just told me to study well, so that at least can find a job later. This is a general example of what the parents are worried about their children. Well, I think this actually is a good motivation to build self-esteem. So the children may know what actually are their needs and try to achieve their goals.
In conclusion, the types of parenting style that we received since childhood has brought a great effect on our self-esteem. However, the effects from the parenting style also depend on individual. Some people may increase in self-esteem after being insulted, but some children are easily insulted and run away from home. The self-esteem may direct us either into good side or bad side. For good side, it may help us to analyse how important and valuable we are. While for bad side, it may lead us to carry out some action in order to show that we are the perfect or in other word- overconfident. In my opinion, either Chinese or Western parents, most of them aimed to provide the best for their children. Not only that, I believed most of the parents are willing to sacrifice whatever they have included their life to save and protect their children. Thus, we shouldn’t blame our parents no matter how high or how low the self-esteem we have. The most important is that we should know how to use the self-esteem in a correct way.
-The End-
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