The article “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior” has stated that zero percent of the Chinese mothers felt that "stressing academic success is not good for children" or that "parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun." I think that my mother is one of them. My parents work as a hawker and have a low education background. They earned the incomes with their sweats and tears. They strongly believe that study well and get good results are the only ways to have a good future. Therefore, they always tell me that if I want to have an easier life in the future, I must first gain an academic success. Since I was in kindergarden, I remembered that my mum was holding my hand to teach me how to write well although she just has a standard six education background. She also accompanied me to read for the spelling test no matter how tired she was. If I didn’t get full mark for the test, she will not scold me, but she will just show the face “Why you can’t do it, why others can.” For me, the facial expression is more cruel than language. I knew that she was dissapointed with me while she was showing that face, and I will feel guilty. Not only that, it also damaged my self-esteem. Thus, I told myself I must do the best in every exam, even it is just a small test. Get a fail in the exam make me feel that I’m a loser and shame for it. This is what I said, I have a very high self-esteem and willing to do anything to protect my self-esteem.
Futhermore, although my mum stresses for the academic success, but she never praise me for my achievements. Everytime I get my results, she must be the first one to ask me. Anyway, she never praise me or say something for the good results, but she will immedietely show me the “face” when I did bad. For her, good results means 100 scores. I remembered that I got 99 for my Maths when I was in secondary school, I’m very happy with that, but she said it is not good enough, it is just 99 not 100. It really hurt me. I felt so sad about that. I wonder what should I do to get a praise from her. Not only that, when I requested for some “encouragement” for my PMR results which was 7As 1B, she said get a good results is my responsibility and it will only benefits me but not her. Oh my God! How can she said that! Anyway, what she said is actually very true; therefore I must always get the excellent for my own good. However, as a teenager, I will always seek for approvals and praises, and I know my mum will never praise me. As a result, since I was in Form 4, I have never told my mum about my results. Whenever she asked me, I will only answered “ok la.” This could be a way to protect my self-esteem.
-To be continued-
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