Worries!!!

Why is my head so heavy with worriess!?!?!
Why is my body so heavy with tiredness!?!?!
Why are my shoulder so heavy with burdens!?!?!

Tomorrow will be the last paper for mid-term- Calculus. You should now be thinking that I'm sure very happy with that, but you are wrong!! Cuz I'm really feel very regret to take claculus in this sem!!! It made me prolonged my mid-term week and shorten my holiday!!! I hate that!

I'm going to Leadership camp this Friday. At first, I feel so happy for that camp, but now I'm very worry whether i can finish my psychology assignment or not. I really need 48 hours a day~~can I??

This sem should be very free and relax, but why now I feel so stress!?!? I'm really so envy why the others can be so relaxed and like have no assignments to do at all!! Why!??!?!

I know I shoudn't get upset by now, since I'll have more works or burdens in degree level. Sometimes, just feel like "I really need a shoulder!"XD jk..jk..

"If you think you can, you can!"

Parenting Style Vs Self-esteem- Part 3

Moreover, I strongly agree that Chinese parents are not or never concern about their children’s self-esteem. Not only my mum, but also my dad are never concern about my self-esteem. I have observed this for a long time. They always call me fatty even they are in a crowded place. They are still calling me that although I’m already an adult. I have told them to stop calling me fatty because it will hurt me, but they said “If you are so easily get hurt by such word, you better die.” Once, my mum told me that I’m getting fat, if I’m not going to loose weight, I will stuck at the door and cannot pass through the gate. However, I’m already used to it, and I felt nothing for that. So, as an advice for the Chinese parents who want their children to lose weight, please do not think that insulting them with those words is a kind of motivation.

Unfortunately, it is not. Well, I have got hurt once by my dad. I’m not very sure what was actually happening, I just remembered that he said “Why you are so stupid?” This had brought a serious impact on me, till now, I’m still thinking that how can parents insulting their children like that way. Anyway, it doesn’t damage my self-esteem, in the opposite, it built my self-esteem. This is beacuse I know that I’m not stupid, I’m just not clever enough. Therefore, I have learned a lesson from that which is “Think twice before you act and say something” because whatever you said or act will definitely bring effects to yourself and the people around you.

In addition, in my opinion, not only Chinese parents but also Western parents think that their children owe them everything. This actually is not a fault. They have the power to have this mindset. In fact, as a children, we actually owe them a lot. This is because they raise us, give us food, education, protection and money. These things cannot be repaid by words such as “Thank you,” money or any others else. Most of them actually never think of the repayment from their children. They just want them to have a good life and bright future. Therefore, they may override their children’s preferences. They also shape and nurture their children into the perfect one. They do these to help them built their self-esteem, let them know what actually is good and bad for them. Just for an example, when I’m planning for my future career, my mum called me to be a teacher which I really don’t like. When I said I want to be a psychologist, she keep saying that psychologist is not good, very hard to get a job and I may get “psycho” also. She is still saying the same thing until now although I have explained to her what actually pshchology is. Anyway, luckily, she didn’t force me to follow what she want, she just told me to study well, so that at least can find a job later. This is a general example of what the parents are worried about their children. Well, I think this actually is a good motivation to build self-esteem. So the children may know what actually are their needs and try to achieve their goals.

In conclusion, the types of parenting style that we received since childhood has brought a great effect on our self-esteem. However, the effects from the parenting style also depend on individual. Some people may increase in self-esteem after being insulted, but some children are easily insulted and run away from home. The self-esteem may direct us either into good side or bad side. For good side, it may help us to analyse how important and valuable we are. While for bad side, it may lead us to carry out some action in order to show that we are the perfect or in other word- overconfident. In my opinion, either Chinese or Western parents, most of them aimed to provide the best for their children. Not only that, I believed most of the parents are willing to sacrifice whatever they have included their life to save and protect their children. Thus, we shouldn’t blame our parents no matter how high or how low the self-esteem we have. The most important is that we should know how to use the self-esteem in a correct way.

-The End-

Parenting Style Vs Self-esteem- Part 2

The article “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior” has stated that zero percent of the Chinese mothers felt that "stressing academic success is not good for children" or that "parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun." I think that my mother is one of them. My parents work as a hawker and have a low education background. They earned the incomes with their sweats and tears. They strongly believe that study well and get good results are the only ways to have a good future. Therefore, they always tell me that if I want to have an easier life in the future, I must first gain an academic success. Since I was in kindergarden, I remembered that my mum was holding my hand to teach me how to write well although she just has a standard six education background. She also accompanied me to read for the spelling test no matter how tired she was. If I didn’t get full mark for the test, she will not scold me, but she will just show the face “Why you can’t do it, why others can.” For me, the facial expression is more cruel than language. I knew that she was dissapointed with me while she was showing that face, and I will feel guilty. Not only that, it also damaged my self-esteem. Thus, I told myself I must do the best in every exam, even it is just a small test. Get a fail in the exam make me feel that I’m a loser and shame for it. This is what I said, I have a very high self-esteem and willing to do anything to protect my self-esteem.

Futhermore, although my mum stresses for the academic success, but she never praise me for my achievements. Everytime I get my results, she must be the first one to ask me. Anyway, she never praise me or say something for the good results, but she will immedietely show me the “face” when I did bad. For her, good results means 100 scores. I remembered that I got 99 for my Maths when I was in secondary school, I’m very happy with that, but she said it is not good enough, it is just 99 not 100. It really hurt me. I felt so sad about that. I wonder what should I do to get a praise from her. Not only that, when I requested for some “encouragement” for my PMR results which was 7As 1B, she said get a good results is my responsibility and it will only benefits me but not her. Oh my God! How can she said that! Anyway, what she said is actually very true; therefore I must always get the excellent for my own good. However, as a teenager, I will always seek for approvals and praises, and I know my mum will never praise me. As a result, since I was in Form 4, I have never told my mum about my results. Whenever she asked me, I will only answered “ok la.” This could be a way to protect my self-esteem.

-To be continued-

Parenting Style Vs Self-esteem- Part 1

When I get this topic- parenting style as my writing assignment, I’m quite shocked with it. I was thinking that how can parents affect our self-esteem? It should depend on ourselves- how we see we are and what we think we are. However, after I read the article entitled “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior,” I strongly agree that different types of parenting style will actually affect the children’s self-esteem. As the saying goes, “Everyone needs self-esteem, but it doesn’t always come naturally.” Then, after I have computed the self-esteem test’s scores, I’m really got so surprised with the scores. I get 26 over 30 for that test! Should I feel happy with that? Although they have said that the higher the score, the higher the self-esteem, but for me, it seems something wrong to myself. I personally knew that I have a very high self-esteem, and sometimes may overconfident, but I really never think of the high score that I’ve got. Well, I think my parents; especially my mother had affected my self-esteem a lot.

Yes, I believed that my mother is a Chinese mother, but not as strict as the Amy Chua, the author of “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior.” My mother did one of those things that Amy never allowed her daughter to do which is to attend a sleepover. I remembered that I have told her once that I want to have a sleepover at my friend’s house; she said with a very serious and fierce tone, “You have your own house, your own room, you do not know their family background, and remembered that you are a girl, how dare you want to sleepover?” This dialogue has made me know that I could never attend a sleepover because I’m a girl and of course I knew she was worried about my safety. Therefore, from that day on, I never request or ask for it, even though it was just a camp. Anyway, this thing has indirectly shaped and built my self-esteem as she made me know that as a girl, I should have greater self-esteem compared to boy, I should know how valuable and important I am. However, when I’m Form 4, she was not that strict as before. She started to allow me to attend a 2D1N trip and camp, but with the self-esteem, I know what should I do and I shouldn’t especially under the peer pressure. I’m glad with that.

-To be continued-

CNY 2011

Hey friends,
How was your CNY celebration? Must be very fun right~ and sure got so many angpao~
Anyway, Happy Chinese New Year to all of my family and my lovely friends~I love you all~<3

Tell you all secretly, till now, I only get 3 angpao!!!
I'm sure you must feel very suprising now~haha..
Yes! It's true.

This is because of my grandma has just passed away, so I can't go to the other's house to get angpao. How bad~
Friends, all of you back to kampung..and left me alone. I'm so bored. Miss you all so much~

BUT!

I have had a great time with my family although we just stay at home. We have lunch and dinner together during these few days. We become more understanding each other.

Ya, during the first day of CNY, my brother brought us to Sunway Pyramid and had buffet at Shogun. Anyway, I'm not really like the buffet and I think my mum's cook will be more better than the buffet.

Then, on the next day, we went to 1 Utama. It's really huge. Although we have shopped for 4-5 hours, but we haven't finished the first block yet!! Oh my God! Besides, the clothes there are extremely expensive. A basic tee can cost RM200!! It's really killing me!

Hope the next year CNY, I can get more angpao and again have a great time with mu family and friends.